The 'Five Stage Goodby'

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the-viking
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The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by the-viking » June 29th, 2016, 8:55 am

Does anyone else go through this? I call it the 'Five Stage Goodby' when we have family gatherings.

Stage 1: This is where the wife will announce that we have to get going. On this everyone stands and continues with a 15 to 20 minute 'goodby'. :rolleyes:

Stage 2: We now move to the front door where they [the females] will engage in further discussions for around... 10 min or so. I'm rattling car keys at this point. :)

Stage 3: Over to the car. This is where we don't actually enter the car but instead open the doors and stand to perform a distant chat from the car to front door of the house. I at least sneak my left foot in. I'm polite for about 3 minutes then I ever so cautiously lower myself into the drivers seat. I'm not involved in the conversation anyway, so why not. Btw, this is where Id jump onto 4WD Action on my phone so thanks a lot 4WD Action..... :mad:

Stage 4: The wife finally gets in. This is where I have the green light to start the car. Unfortunately this gives power to the windows to which the wife very quickly lowers because someone [ a female member which I'm sure I didn't need to say] still has something to say from the front door!!! Now this is where it really irks me!! That female member starts walking towards the car, slowly joined by the others. It's like a mini migration over to richer chatting fields!! As they approach I'll perform some subtle low level grunts and groans and ever so slightly rev the motor.

Stage 5: I'll get to move off, only to get no more than 3 or 4 metres when one of the female family members has just remembered something to ask or tell the wife. Really???? Now this is the clincher, because this could lead into a conversation leading anywhere from 3 to 15 more unbearable minutes. I'm now taking control of the wifes window with some gentle flicks of power in conjunction with engine revs. Then; if all of that aint bad enough, the wife will be on the phone that night talking to one of the family members about god knows what!!! :eek:

So am I the only poor bugger that goes through this?

BigDutchy
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by BigDutchy » June 29th, 2016, 9:31 am

The stages you mention I do recognize but I must be a blessed man! This ritual doesn't take normally more than a few minutes. So, or your friends have very interesting lives and have to tell a lot and our friends are extremely boring and have nothing to tell or yes, you are a poor bugger!!

V Williamson
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by V Williamson » June 29th, 2016, 11:20 am

Does SWMBO read the forums? If so, I would be checking out the comfort levels of the dog kennel. I think there might be a few night's rest in there - if the dog will have you...

Peter Aawen
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by Peter Aawen » June 29th, 2016, 5:22 pm

Dunno if it's cos anyone's interesting or not (probly more that my wife comes from a family with 5 girls in it!!) I can relate to that lot, & have experienced interminable minutes waiting for every single stage mentioned above to drag by!!! The only difference I've encountered is that here, the very moment I start to chat or say anything at all to the Man of the House we are leaving or any other male nearby (even if it's the dog!!) then every female voice within earshot immediately stops talking & every set of female eyes in the local Federal Electoral Division immediately swing in my direction, aimed & glaring at me like armed laser missile destruction devices (altho sometimes one or two pairs of eyes might sneak a swift glance at each other & roll in my direction, sorta like I just got caught pushing the Queen over & face first into a dog turd I found on the footpath! :eek:) until all the male voices cease talking & us fella's go back to quietly& patiently waiting..... :whyme:

Altho I have been known to try & turn the tables every now & then, & instead of getting to the car at Stage 3 & then trying to move on as per Stages 4 & 5, I just open the car doors & gently guide SWMBO to her seat before turning & briskly walking back to the 'men's gathering' around the BBQ or wherever the fella's are congregating (usually in the back yard or shed at this stage) & quickly re-joining the conversation there. That generally results in a fairly rapid response that usually means once I get dragged back to the car, we can leave immediately - even if thats just thru me climbing in & 'angrily' starting the car before lighting up the tyres as I peel off down the drive, supposedly in a fit of pique but actually grinning from ear to ear & shouting You Bewdy cos I got outta there in less than the expected eon! :p
An Ex-Service person is someone who thought enough about their country & how great it is, how lucky we are to live here, to write a blank cheque made out to 'The People and Commonwealth of Australia' for the value of 'Up to & including my Life!'

jfoldbar
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by jfoldbar » June 29th, 2016, 6:02 pm

i like the american dramas where when theyre on the phone and its goodby they just hang up real quick. i wish real life could be like that without all the farting around just to say by. just get it over and done with already would ya!

my handbrake is korean and thats one part i (kinda) like about not being a full aussie family. in korea its the opposite end of the spectrum so i gotta try to act nice to someone and say the longest goodby i can in the 2 seconds i have while she just walks off.
bit of a pain when we're with aussie relos. but good when we're with korean relos cause the goodby is over before step 1 is finished.

Shann Low
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by Shann Low » June 29th, 2016, 6:36 pm

Your too polite!

I say we are going - get up and walk to the door with my keys - let myself out open the car door and get in, & start the engine and drive away.
If she's not in the car when it leaves then she finds her own way home!.
Her & the family know, I don't take **** from no one.

You know what her family say, when your gone?
Thank God - I didn't think they would ever leave!

stockhorse
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by stockhorse » June 29th, 2016, 6:51 pm

I don't have any of the stages problems anymore.If SWMBO says anything about leaving there are two responses she gets. " In awhile" means not just yet,I'm busy. or "OK" which means I will say my goodbyes and the car will be leaving in 3 minutes.

If the stage 3 mob move towards the car they are left in the driveway either waving goodbye or wondering what just happened.SWMBO doesn't say it's time to go unless she is ready to go.

the-viking
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by the-viking » June 29th, 2016, 7:49 pm

For a laugh when any of the wives say. "Ok. We better get going." to their hubby, myself or one of the other bro in-laws will say something like. "Cool. Time for another beer." lol

Just in comparison. Guys saying goodbye.

Stage 1: The departing male stands; shakes some hands; then leaves..... :D

stockhorse
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by stockhorse » July 1st, 2016, 10:49 am

Wish some pollies would learn the stage 1 male goodbye.

Muckinhell
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by Muckinhell » July 1st, 2016, 4:30 pm

I usually try and hurry the whole thing along with( you have had xxx amount of hours to talk about that, sorry but we are going as you pointed out dear! catch up later about it)

only works sometimes...

the-viking
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by the-viking » July 1st, 2016, 5:44 pm

So do you wear any PPE and have a 'Take Flight' plan in place when you say it? :lol:

Muckinhell
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by Muckinhell » July 4th, 2016, 4:58 pm

no it usually in the car when i need the protection luckily im driving if that happens. hehehe

cmar
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Re: The 'Five Stage Goodby'

Unread post by cmar » November 2nd, 2016, 8:14 pm

For a laugh when any of the wives say. "Ok. We better get going." to their hubby, myself or one of the other bro in-laws will say something like. "Cool. Time for another beer." lol
Yep this one! :D
Haven't owned a 2WD since 1982.

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