Paraprosdokians are figures of Speech....

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BigDutchy
Need to get out more
Posts: 5023
Joined: November 6th, 2009, 6:58 pm

Paraprosdokians are figures of Speech....

Unread post by BigDutchy » January 12th, 2016, 8:06 am

IN WHICH THE LATTER PART OF A SENTENCE OR PHRASE IS SURPRISING OR
UNEXPECTED AND IS FREQUENTLY HUMOROUS.

(all big words, I know. Not my words but funny anyway)

1. WHERE THERE’S A WILL, I WANT TO BE IN IT.

2. THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS HURT YOU ... BUT IT'S STILL ON MY LIST.

3. SINCE LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT
UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

4. IF I AGREED WITH YOU, WE'D BOTH BE WRONG.

5. WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP -- WE ONLY LEARN HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC.

6. WAR DOES NOT DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT, ONLY WHO IS LEFT.

7. KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING A TOMATO IS A FRUIT. WISDOM IS NOT PUTTING
IT IN A FRUIT SALAD.

8. TO STEAL IDEAS FROM ONE PERSON IS PLAGIARISM. TO STEAL FROM MANY
IS RESEARCH.

9. I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS YOUR FAULT, I SAID I WAS BLAMING YOU.

10. IN FILLING OUT AN APPLICATION, WHERE IT SAYS, "IN CASE OF
EMERGENCY, NOTIFY..." I ANSWERED "A DOCTOR."

11. WOMEN WILL NEVER BE EQUAL TO MEN UNTIL THEY CAN WALK DOWN THE
STREET WITH A BALD HEAD AND A BEER GUT, AND STILL THINK THEY ARE SEXY.

12. I THOUGHT THAT I WAS WRONG ONCE BUTI WAS MISTAKEN

13. I USED TO BE INDECISIVE, BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE.

14. TO BE SURE OF HITTING THE TARGET, SHOOT FIRST AND CALL WHATEVER
YOU HIT THE TARGET.

15. GOING TO CHURCH DOESN'T MAKE YOU A CHRISTIAN, ANY MORE THAN
STANDING IN A GARAGE MAKES YOU A CAR.

16. YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN SOMETHING STUPID.

17. I'M SUPPOSED TO RESPECT MY ELDERS, BUT IT'S GETTING HARDER AND
HARDER FOR ME TO FIND ONE NOW.

bigtom
Here and there
Posts: 30
Joined: April 8th, 2010, 6:42 pm
Location: Brisbane, north side

Re: Paraprosdokians are figures of Speach....

Unread post by bigtom » January 12th, 2016, 9:46 am

Hey there Dutchy,

Not sure if it's exactly right, but I filled in with a band at a pub gig a few weekends ago and the guy running it says,
"And now we would like to play you a song by Michael Jackson, but we don't one so we'll just play ....."

nilla60
Moderator
Posts: 6348
Joined: May 13th, 2007, 12:09 am

Re: Paraprosdokians are figures of Speech....

Unread post by nilla60 » January 13th, 2016, 9:32 pm

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure sure...

"Please ignore this notice" and

IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.

and famously,

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

V Williamson
Part of the furniture
Posts: 1388
Joined: February 6th, 2008, 9:16 am

Re: Paraprosdokians are figures of Speech....

Unread post by V Williamson » January 14th, 2016, 7:25 am

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was aiming for your face."

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