Have a look at one of the attached photos, see that blurred thing hanging behind Milo’s wiper blade? It’s right in the foreground of this photo, but my camera phone skills aren’t sharp enough to have gotten it in focus.

Got it? Yep, it’s a leach. Look hard and you can even see that the hungry little sod is trying to suck the glass out of Milo!

Fair enough, Milo’s so full of mud and crud she’s as organic as the average national park anyway. It’s kind of nice when there’s a waft of burnt diesel from the exhaust stack to help kill the rotting smells…

Let’s not go there. Suffice to say dogs and cats follow me around through most small towns. Even without Jacko adding to the brew.

But the last few weeks have been some of the wettest on record and we’ve been out there filming DVDs right through it all. After getting knocked back from some state forest tracks (they locked them down when the floods came through), we still found places to play – Levuka and LandCruiser Park, two of my favourite places for the family camps normally – and the results, which you’ll get to see, were pretty much full on. We’re talking swapping CVs in flooding creeks and mud-baths lapping the window frames!

No wonder the truck smells like the Handbrake’s old socks. Mine, of course, resemble roses in full flower...

So in some of the tightest and wettest rainforests we were plagued by the inevitable leaches. One of our photographers copped 14 in a single hit! The only thing I’ve found that’s any use is insect repellent and you’ve got to keep applying it throughout the day. I even spray Milo’s seats and door trims.

Years ago, when we didn’t know it’d hurt us, we used to rub diesel on our legs when mining on Fraser to keep the leaches and sandflies away. I reckon there’d be some more tricks out there – safer than that I hope! – so if you know one, let me know please.

I’m really over these little blood suckers!